I’m a son of the South, the old South.
This description carries with it some very specific principles that are ingrained into everyone who claims this birthright.
Hard work, loyalty, truth and dedication are among those principles. But manners are at the top of the list.
Sometimes I think I was taught to say such things as yes ma’am, no ma’am, yes sir, no sir, please and thank you before my parents cared if I uttered mommy or daddy.
I still use the mannerly words, even though the teenagers in the checkout lines at the grocery store look at me like I’m crazy when I call them ma’am or sir.
Such words are simply the tradition of respect that the old South carried proudly on its shoulders. The attitude had its foundation in treating others the way you would want to be treated.
So when I came across, “Culture, Mind Your Manners” in the Reader’s Digest index, I had to take a look.
I was expecting to find the latest rules on what fork to use first, what color to wear or not to wear to a fancy dinner party, the proper color tie for a funeral and similar things I never worried about in my younger days.
Of course I was surprised. The times are definitely changing when it comes to what are and are not considered mannerly actions.
The article dove into such weighty problems as deciding whether or not to go to an office party, if guests’ cell phones can be confiscated at dinner, rules for regifting and elevator etiquette.
In many ways, the article made me shudder. Rules ain’t what they used to be.
But one in particular did catch my eye: “To hold or not to hold the door.”
In the old South, this would not have even been a question, much less the topic for an article. “You hold the door for that lady, son,” was the rule.
Now, coming from a Macon, Georgia, reader, we learn that young women often cast a look on contempt toward her husband when he extends such courtesy.
To those young women, I say this is not an act meant to be demeaning or chauvinistic. It’s courtesy, manners if you will, pure and simple. These young women would understand that if they are truly daughters of the South.
I can imagine that, to this day, if I didn’t hold doors Dad might reach down from heaven and apply the proper correction for my lapse in judgment.
But the change in attitude toward the old days seems to be just another step society has taken toward losing all respect for each other. Such respect has been the glue that has held us together for decades.
Nowadays, everyone seems to get offended at the least little thing, to the level of seeing a simple act of kindness as an ill advised gesture.
Well, my old South raisin’ tells me manners are still manners and I better not forget to use them.
Manners need to rise again.
Glenn Harbison is publisher/editor of The News Observer. He can be reached at 706-632-2019 or by email at glenn@thenewsobserver.com.